Humans are wanderers. We wander physically and mentally. Sometimes it is hard to comprehend if the mind and body are even synchronized. As we wander we learn, and as we learn we interpret. With interpretation comes a calling. The calling is often the implementation of that thought. With a purpose of settlement and a sense of accomplishment, we tend to decipher only such thoughts that help us in these predetermined voyages away from the clutches of apathy.
The delicateness of a given situation is often undermined as we are tuned to think as perfectionists. Happiness is lost in the translation. In this post I have tried to cover the 10 perfections that people expect from life and the impacts of such perfection seeking on our lives.
1. Perfect cities:
Perfect city is a myth. For one mind the perfect city means affordability, for another it is expendability. For one it may be facilities that matter for another the weather. We are constantly trying to improve our living conditions, but the sails are lost when the growth of a city is underestimated. We live in clogged cities, spending most hours on the road in the treacherous traffic. What if you could spend the same time with your loved ones? What would you do to save the daily commute? Are we sacrificing the love for money here?
I have tried to cover in my earlier post the “10 thoughts about the education system” the perils if globalization fails. But the fact is, no one around the world are 100% happy in the cities they live in. Planning is inappropriate, developmental activities stalled, the cities choke under pressure. Human nature is to audit and find faults in a system. But, an opinion only and not a solution leaves us with more questions. Either we become a part of the Political Legal system or take such measures to change that system.
2. Perfect lifestyles:
Life style can be defined as the means by which a person chooses to spend his money based on what he/she aspires to experience or possess. Perfect experience cannot be defined as it is ambiguous and differs from person to person. A product in a market is designed to target specific line of customers. Imperfections start to appear when different people who have different experience aspirations get influenced by others and want to get such experiences as the other person.
It is not that the middle class shouldn’t aim big, but the very purpose of the experience is lost when comparison is made without an equivalent base. There is not perfect lifestyle as such, the way we lead our lives if it is satisfactory, we have a perfect style to live our lives.
3. Perfect relationships:
People are never perfect, but relationships can be. I am sure you would have watched “FRIENDS” or “How I met your mother” and wished you had a place like that to hang out every day after work or college. Often the problem in relationships start when comparison comes into play. Friendship is one thing that is unbiased and unchanged since the history of time. But 21st century managed to change that too. Phone and internet chats are overshadowing the practice of physically being there for each other.
Family and friends are already perfect, the imperfection lies in your head if you have ever thought you don’t have the people you deserve. Perfect relationships are the ones which are not build on ego. The foundation of best relationships are seldom products of genuine care which comes by the ability to fill each others’ emotional void.
4. Perfect means to earn money:
Career as many define it, the meaning of it is lost now and it simply is one of the means to earn money. Entrepreneurship in India is underrated as we fail to understand the impact of self-sufficiency in India. We do have to depend on foreign car makers if Indian Engineers worked for the betterment of Indian Car industry. The change should however come from every citizen. No Japanese citizen would use an Indian made car in Japan, no American would buy an Indian made car in the US. The difference is in the thought process. India has one of the best Finance & software professionals in the world, but serving to the rest of the world through BPO’s. Let’s create more and more experts in various domains and make India a knowledge capital.
Sensitivity of it can be understood only if we understand what we can do for the economy. The perfect means to make money is often the most difficult way to make it.
5. Perfect schooling/education:
I see children going to school in the yellow school bus and I say to myself, “Childhood was the best”. I am sure you would think the same too. But I would say, “ONLY OUR childhood was the best”. Why? Cos, that yellow school bus now travels at least picks up children from up to 50 kilometers away the journey of which ranging from 1.5 to 2 hours. Our childhood was about practicality and the moral idea of being educated.
The idea of education now is about fancy campuses and prestigious branded educational institutions. A child who has no idea about Prestige and brands is forced in the age of innocence to travel hours in a school bus to a school which imparts more brand values. Where is the practicality and the morals to this? Parents need to wake up. Perfect education is the most practical way of learning.
6. Perfect journeys:
Point A to point B. One source, one destination, one road. For some the destination is important and for other the road. The perfect journey is the journey which is liberating. Imperfections arise due to unfair comparisons (Point no. 2)
It is not just perfect if you are with loved ones, it is not perfect when you travel solo. It is perfect only when the movement gives you inner peace. Let the journeys be about unthinking and not thinking about what happened before the journey and what happens after. Let us hope to have better journeys and make the best of spending time with one self and relieve the intensity of daily life.
7. Perfect opinions:
Don’t you think that some people just assume an advisory position when they learn about your problems? It is not that they are perfect, but they just assume that they are perfect and can invoke a change in you. I researched on various people by telling them same problems. There were 3 types of people I observed:
a. You are talking to the right person – These were people who out rightly assumed the advisory position. They feel superior the moment they hear about my problems. They tend to give solutions that worked for them.
b. I am there for you – These people are the best example for true friends. They listen and gesture that they are with you no matter what. The opinions or advices they give are practical and shows real concern.
c. Oh! Your problems are so petty – The 3rd kind of people are the ones who feel they have the most extraordinary problems. The moment they hear of others’ problems they compare it with their own problems and start shelling out from their end. It often goes to an extent where I have myself consoled the other person after telling my problems.
So out of the 3 types I observed, first one assumes perfection; the 2nd thinks we are perfect enough to solve our own problems and the 3rd is filled with mental imperfections. Opinions are never perfect nor are advices. The person and the means by which the emotions are conveyed is what makes it perfect.
8. Perfect gadgetry:
I have myself used over 25 different mobile phones till now. We were lucky enough to have seen phones which had actual buttons in them and have known the slowest of phones before the processors received the quad core upgrades. I have always felt no matter what phone I use it is slow for me. One feeling is the constant need to upgrade and the other is the feeling that the phone is not perfect.
My view of gadgets I am quoting as an example to show the views of perfection and its consequences. I ended up spending my savings on phones which at the end of the day served the same purpose. It kept on the lookout for newer versions and updates which kept me occupied or can I say – distracted. We become so obsessed with perfection that we never keep track of what we are losing because of it. What you seek from your gadgets might just explain what you seek from yourself.
9. The complexes:
Numerous studies have suggested the ill effects of seeking perfection. In my study of perfection I have noticed various complexes of perfection. Perfection seeking people are over-critical about themselves and others. For them it derives pleasure by attaining perfection but the downside is that they gets so much affected by imperfections that it leads to depression.
Psychologists have studied various types of perfectionism complexes:
Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale (MPS), a 45-item measure that rates three aspects of perfectionist self-presentation: self-oriented perfectionism, other-oriented perfectionism, and socially prescribed perfectionism. It can be used to check if we ourselves are prone to complexes from perfectionism.
The most common type of perfectionism complex is Physical Appearance Perfectionism Scale (PAPS). PAPS explains a particular type of perfectionism – the desire for a perfect physical appearance.
10. Perfect thoughts:
Seldom when we think of perfection we forget that we are either thinking about the past or the future. Perfection is a thought that can never be attributed to the present. There are always things that the perfectionist is unhappy about in the present.
A state of imperfection leads to depression. For a person who is prone to depression the dialogue of perfection is lost in transit.
Perfection should be about progress. Perfection should be about achievement of practical goals. Perfection should be about striving for the betterment rather than focusing on the downsides. Perfect thought process is a flow where solutions are found and not just identification. Perfection is about the surgery rather than just diagnosis.
There are always critics who point at the imperfections, we need to show maturity in our thought by showing that the imperfections is what makes us who we are. Perfections can show our character but it is the imperfections that make us better human beings.