Homo sapiens are a bundle of emotions. We stack up positive as well as negative emotions.Homing in on the goodness of life, we often slip into a make-believe world of stress, worry, and all other possible negative pits.
If a bedtime review of a day concludes that we are stressed, too busy, no fun, then it has been a lost piece of a precious life. To make up for the losses, we must look out for the cause. It apparently happens to be REACTIONS. Reaction to a situation is a reflex action. Emotions underlying reactions are as impalpable as a dream. These reflex actions have a high need of being tamed. With time, these actions turn out to be involuntary actions.
”We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are. ”
– Anais Nin.
Here, let me introduce you to those involuntary slips that wipe out the joy of life.
Involuntary slip into Negativity
Negativity is so ingrained in us that we don’t notice it gradually smothering us. Every action with a negative mindset by default results in a negative effect on the outcome. It actually is a self-
protective characteristic; which is powerful, but not in a good way.
But why do we slip into negativity?
If we tend to see the world from the realistic standpoint, you can’t help but be negative. The reality is the paramount cause of negativity. This, being a conjecture about the rule of negativity is what we should look out for. We slip into a spiral of thoughts, not knowing what to do next but presuming a negative screen.
The only way out is to don a positive version.
Change the ‘No’ and ‘can’t’ to ‘Yes’ and ‘can’. These 2 words can change your view of life. Be conscious while perceiving the outer world, remind yourself constantly, ”What good can come from negativity?”
Involuntary slip towards Comparison
Often, we catch ourselves falling into an emotionally dangerous trap of comparison.
We tag ourselves fortunate among the less fortunate and unfortunate among the fortunate. This is an involuntary act based on the inaccurate information we gather. We tend to compare ourselves with the edited version of others. Ruminating about others’ on-screen success is like fighting a losing battle. You can never win. You can never reach a level where you are better than everybody else.
Make a list of how you want to see yourself in the future years. Make these your barometer upon which you compare.
“If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.”
– Albert Einstein.
Instead of looking at the lives of others, see the goodness in front of you. Inside of you.
Involuntary slip towards Materialism
“Possessions tend to possess the possessor”.
The more you have the more there is to take care of and worry about. It’s obvious that most of us place our materialistic joys over the inner joys. We tend to equate buying things to happiness,
which is a pretty clear co-relation.
Let’s face it, if I had a Bugatti Veyron, there possibly is nothing better for life.
If had a blue-diamond, I couldn’t ask for more.
Really? But for how long? A day or a week or a month?
The coolest gadget or the trendiest clothes you just bought didn’t come with a happiness warranty card, did they?
Material-happiness comes with time boundaries. It can buy you few seconds of contentment. Short-lived. It is lost as soon as the purchase is made, leaving us as empty as before. Material cravings keep growing unless we limit them.
Here’s a trick; write down what you want to buy along with the day’s date. Wait for the next 30 days before you make the purchase. If you still think it’s worth the buy, go ahead. In the long term, we tend to value experiences over objects, even if we don’t think we do. The last vacation left an indelible impression, not your last iPad.
Involuntary slip into worrying.
Dictionary defines worrying as to ‘torment oneself and ‘suffer from disturbing thoughts’. Yet, we humans never shield ourselves from this suffering. With a burning desire of future success in each of us, worrying becomes an involuntary action.
“Worry is like paying a debt you don’t owe”
We prefer our future to be certain, which when takes unexpected turns and leads to worrying. It is important to realize that uncertainty is a natural part of life and predicting the future with absolute certainty can leave us grief-stricken.
In reality, worry represents an underlying lack of trust. We’ve got to believe in our actions and step ahead into the world of uncertainty.
According to Jonathan Alpert, allowing yourself some time to worry can work wonders. About 15 minutes a day to let it rip. This exercise will give you control over something that otherwise feels like you have no control over.
Everybody dies, but not everybody lives. Stop worrying and start living.
Involuntary slip into criticizing and being criticized.
Criticism arises because we have opinions, are judgmental, carry grudges and harbor low self-
esteem and self-worth.
There’s nothing wrong with focusing on what’s wrong. About 80% of the statements are deemed criticizing statements based on the tone of speech. Quite often, criticism may not involve speech, but our thoughts are filled with criticism of other people. It feeds the ego with the sense of superiority. Often misinterpreted as happiness.
Sometimes people even stop working toward their goal out of fear of being critiqued. Remember, it is just one person’s point of view.
Never let you inner voice drown because of others. Choose what you want to be and not what is expected from you.
Being criticized can fill in the air of melancholy whereas criticizing can cut-down the precious time we are blessed with. In both ways, you pay the time penalty.
Having said about the involuntary slips that are ineluctable emotional prisons, it is necessary to
reflect on the right thoughts. So practice what you preach or don’t preach at all – walk the talk.
And remember that there is often a major gap between what someone says and what they do.
“All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of times, but to make them truly
ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience”
– Johann Von Goethe
We are more of an Actor than Author.