You pull out all the stops. You think long and hard about the psychology of your audience/customers/stakeholders. You do all kinds of research. You draw from every talent and skill you have; and you go over your work a million times making sure it’s more perfect each time. 

Yet, you get no love from anybody. No energy. No enthusiasm. Not one person to applaud a single piece of the effort. 

The competition is tough as nails, and you’re not getting any younger. That one breakthrough is all you need. So you work in your room, on the toilet, in the kitchen — pretty much anywhere that can fit either your scratchpad, phone, tablet or computer. 

How much patience can one person muster, and for how many years? Is the world really so loaded on talent that someone can go completely unnoticed despite day after day of hardwork and dedication? What if there is some sort of secret formula that only a lucky few know or have stumbled upon? What if there’s an “it” factor that only a few are born with? Is there really no way to take control even if you persist through the envy, actively attempt to get ahead of the situation, and patiently go through all of the pain? 

Aside from a fair and reasonable amount of pride and dignity, there are also other things at stake. Bills to pay and loans to close, because nothing in this world is free. A legacy to build and some luxuries to obtain before you’re too old to really enjoy either. So many many paths to explore, if the one you’re on would only let go. 

How does all that “busy” turn into a dead-end at the end of each day? How does all that work feel like a bunch of time that’s burned and wasted? Where do the events from the day go, when you’re trying to recount them in bed? What can you do to make something happen? Before you know it, celestial spirits take you into the night and the dark chips away at the foundations of your existence.